Postscript Archives - Queen's Journal

Finding a language I can call my own

Written on February 4, 2022. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

Ever since my family immigrated to Canada, I’ve been trying to find the perfect balance between Russian, the language of my family, and English, the language of my new home. When I was young, I used to peruse the jokes section in the Chirp and Chickadee magazines. Each joke was like a riddle to me. ...

Restructuring my relationship with food

Written on January 14, 2022. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

This article discusses disordered eating and may be triggering for some readers. The Canadian Mental Health Association Crisis Line can be reached at 1-800-875-6213. The way I look was one of the only sources of control I had over my life. In my first year at Queen’s, I fell into a deep depression...

Parting with my roots is more difficult than I expected

Written on November 26, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

In April of 2019, I moved back to Prince Edward County for the final time. That summer, I settled into the spare bedroom of my aunt’s apartment, which was filled with nothing but a mattress on the floor, a suitcase full of clothing I had yet to put into a closet, and a fake Christmas tree that...

‘Red’ grew up with me in ‘Taylor’s Version’

Written on November 19, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

This article discusses sexual assault and may be triggering for some readers. The Kingston Sexual Assault Centre’s 24-hour crisis and support phone line can be reached at 613-544-6424 / 1-800-544-6424. The Centre’s online chat feature can be reached here. The Journal uses “survivor” to refer...

Letting go of my fears of the world ending

Written on November 12, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

I spent my childhood waiting for the world to end. The idea that some big event could happen at any time and change my entire life was always in the back of my mind—and I had no say in the matter. As I got older, I shoved my world-ending anxiety down as much as I could. I did my best to only panic...

I’m going to stop performing my queerness for validation

Written on November 5, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

I experience an enormous amount of pressure to perform my queerness to the perfect rhythm. If I’m a little offbeat, I risk coming off as disinterested in someone I like. If I forget a step, someone will assume I’m straight. Stumble, and I’m landing face-first in homophobia. It’s an elaborate dance....

Overthinking is my Shakespearean tragedy

Written on October 7, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

Overthinking has absorbed my university life. I find myself bound by standards for and perceptions of myself—and sometimes it goes overboard. I refer to my overthinking as an “analysis curse.” I would over-analyze my own work and capabilities to the point where I’d lose myself in my thoughts and...

My American citizenship branded me an ‘other’ at Queen’s

Written on October 1, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

On my first day at Queen’s, I drove to Kingston with my parents in a U-Haul, unloaded my things on my floor in Gordon Brockington Hall, and understood what it meant to be an outsider in Canada. Sitting on dingy common room couches, my floormates, residence don, and I were playing Cards Against Humanity....

Achieving the 'that girl' aesthetic is harder than you think

Written on September 24, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

It’s been exactly one year and one month since I slurped on a bowl of authentic Taiwanese beef noodle soup. One year and one month since I’ve seen my parents, not through a small black screen, but in person. I’ve always been eager to leave home, explore the world, and be on my own, but I...

Coming to terms with my ADHD

Written on September 17, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

During my second year at Queen’s, I worried I might flunk out. Lectures were grueling tests of endurance and narrowing my thoughts enough to focus on my professors felt impossible. Worst of all, I kept losing at a game called “sitting still for two hours,” and my failures were making me irritable. None...

An exploration of Queerness, creativity, and mental health at Queen’s

Written on June 28, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

This article discusses mental health and may be triggering for some readers. The Canadian Mental Health Association Crisis Line can be reached at 1-800-875-6213. This article uses “Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Transgender, Queer, and Two-Spirit (LGBTQ2S+)” when referring to students with diverse...

A silver lining: How COVID-19 introduced me to my closest friends

Written on May 31, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

The most incredible aspect of living in residence is the opportunity to influence, and be influenced by, people you likely never would’ve met otherwise. As I’ve often been told by my parents, advisors, and almost every news source, this last year was and continues to be unprecedented. With all the...

Last words

Written on April 8, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

Raechel Huizinga, Editor in Chief This year, the Journal house was mostly empty. 190 University Ave., for me, had always been a hub of activity: layout room laughter, couch room banter, a place to hang out in between classes, last-minute writing, and just plain chaos. Losing all of that would...

Bursting and leaving the commerce bubble

Written on April 2, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

Around this time three years ago, I was anxiously awaiting my acceptance to Queen’s Commerce. At the time, I had already been accepted to every other university I applied to, and I was terrified of being rejected—despite my 96 per cent average and wealth of extracurriculars. At my high school, students...

Tracing my roots back to my Grandfather’s childhood home in Scotland

Written on March 26, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

Two years ago, in a small suburb outside of Glasgow, I had an evening I’ll never forget. It was reading week, 2019, and a close friend and I were on the second day of our week-long trip around the United Kingdom’s northern jewel. Tired after a day of walking through the vast expanse of Glasgow’s...

Learning to say goodbye during the pandemic

Written on March 19, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

I think it’s safe to say everyone has learned something new during the pandemic. Some people picked up knitting, others learned how to skate. What I gained this year, however, was something more significant to me than any hobby. I learned how to say goodbye. I’ve never been good at goodbyes. They...

The melting pot: How my housemates and I bonded over food

Written on March 5, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

When my five housemates and I met in October of our first year at Queen’s, all that connected us was a mutual friend, Amy. We were six young women thrown together, each from different religious backgrounds and ethnicities, all planning to live under the same roof. The thing that bridged our differences...

The token Black friend

Written on February 26, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

I’ve found that white people are often more worried about being called racist than they are about actually being racist. I’ve known white people who throw fits at the mere suggestion of being labelled racist—‘allies’ who flip out without addressing the racist thing they said or did. To them, the...

What it’s like being a ‘Castle Kid’

Written on February 11, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

Back in 2018, I went out on a limb and accepted an offer to do my first year of undergrad at the Queen’s Bader International Study Centre (BISC), located in East Sussex, England, where students go to school at Herstmonceux Castle. I took a plane to London in August, and that’s when it finally hit...

Uprooting ‘hustle culture’ and its toxic byproducts

Written on February 5, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

I attended a competitive high school where I took AP classes, made honour roll every year, and graduated with awards—but competition wasn’t limited to academic achievement. My peers competed for the worst sleep deprivation and greatest caffeine dependence, as if tired eyes and trembling hands were...

Clubs taught me what my professors couldn’t

Written on January 29, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

January is almost over, and as Journal readers know, the annual search for new student government and club executives is underway. As much as this time is about new beginnings, reflecting on the past helps help shape our goals for the new year. Here’s why joining a campus organization should be one...

Regrowing my foreskin

Written on January 22, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

This article discusses depression, suicidal thinking, and sexual assault and may be triggering for some readers. The Canadian Mental Health Association Crisis Line can be reached at 1-800-875-6213. “You know it’s extremely common, right?” That’s what a psychiatrist said to me last summer when I admitted...

I thought I’d outgrown my eating disorder. I was wrong.

Written on January 15, 2021. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

This article discusses eating disorders and may be triggering for some readers. The Canadian Mental Health Association Crisis Line can be reached at 1-800-875-6213. The story goes that if you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will instantly leap out. However, if you put a frog in a pot filled...

How journaling is helping me overcome perfectionism

Written on November 27, 2020. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

November 4, 2020: If I’m not my good grades, the hours I put in at the gym, or the clothes I spend hundreds of dollars on, then who am I? I bought my first journal at the beginning of Grade 12. Originally, my intention was to start a food journal, but I soon realized I could use my journal to...

Feeling beautiful in white-dominated spaces

Written on November 20, 2020. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

I came out of high school dripping with confidence. I was secure in the body I had, proud of my features—moments of insecurity were present but bearable. In my first year at Queen’s, I felt doubt lace up my spine, replacing any semblance of self-assurance I once had. It was the first time since my...

Learning to embrace my natural hair

Written on November 13, 2020. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

One of the most tumultuous relationships I’ve had in my life is the one I have with my hair. It might sound superficial, but my perception of my hair runs much deeper than a few bad hair days. When you grow up never seeing your type of hair represented in the media and very rarely amongst your...

My decade with acne

Written on November 6, 2020. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

My relationship with my skin has never been great. I’ve spent the majority of my preteen, teenage, and young adult life struggling with acne. It’s a little hormonal, a little stress-related, which means pinning down one daily routine that works all the time is nearly impossible. If my hair is dirty,...

Not normal period pain: my life with endometriosis

Written on October 22, 2020. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

It was the morning of my Grade 10 science exam when the pain started. Up until that moment in my life, my period pain had always been manageable. On that morning, it became so bad I began to black out. I still went to my exam only to last 20 minutes before asking to go to the bathroom to throw up....

Allyship isn’t activism. Stop pretending it is.

Written on October 16, 2020. Posted in Lifestyle, Postscript.

I’ve been at a white institution for three years now, isolated from diversity and fighting battles every day to be allowed safety and comfort. Somehow, despite the casual and not-so-casual racism, the toughest thing about being at Queen’s has been the people who call themselves my allies. I absolutely...

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